In 2013, I was invited to participate in a new show on Oprah's new television network, "Oprah's Lifeclass". It was a new format of a Oprah talk show where the guest like, Iyanla Vanzant and TJ Jakes would teach viewers how to live their best life.
I am no stranger for scoring tickets to Oprah show, I have appeared in the audience twice before. The last time was an episode about the movie/book, The secret. I will have to tell you about that another time. When Lifeclass aired, I knew I had to be in the audience. So I submitted my story on the website and hoped for the best. About year later, I received a phone call from the producers to hear more about my story. I had been dealing with some friend issues. A few years prior, I had to let some toxic, mean girl friendship go. At the time I wrote in to the show, I had develop relationships with women who were mean and toxic. I was repeating the pattern. The producers informed me that the class would based on Dr Phil's book, Lifecode. She asked if I can read it and send in my thoughts. We discussed my take always, I was invited to come to the show's taping.
During the taping there was excitement in the air. I think we were all on the Oprah high. We all knew that this was an experience of a lifetime. My excitement turned quickly to anxiousness when I realized that I was going to be featured in the show and speaking directly to Oprah and Dr Phil in front of the world. Fortunately I did not have time to freak out. Luckily, I had my good friend Toya there with me. She patiently role played with me, my lines ( at least 100x). I must admit, before I was called on by Oprah, it was a blur, my chest was pounding and I was little light headed. Oprah finally called on me, and I asked my question perfectly. I was so proud of myself. My question was quickly dismissed by Oprah and she got into the meat of what I had previously discussed with the producer a week before. Oh Snap! This was not how I had it plan. I wanted to appear, polished, articulated and perfect. This was not going to happen with my feelings exposed to the world.
I had no choice but to roll with it, we talked about what I had experienced and Dr. Phil gave some sound advice. But I learned the most was not from Dr. Phil, who got some good soundbites from our convo. It was from Oprah herself. As I rehashed the events surrounding the mean girl friends. I can feel the audience send me sympathy and pity, I wasn't getting that from Oprah. She kind of seemed perturbed. Oprah gave me a look as if she wanted to say "DON'T YOU DARE STAND HERE ON MY SHOW FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF, YOU ARE NOT A VICTIM!" The unspoken message I received was, that I am not pitiful or sorry. Yes I experienced bad things, but I am still worthy. I made poor choices in friendships because of my feelings that I am a victim and chose people who victimize me. Through modeling, Oprah demonstrated what self worth looks like in the moment. Having high regard for yourself means you high regard for others.
If you curious about this episode of Life Class click here