So I loooove the TV One show Unsung. Unsung is a music documentary program . The series, discusses the stories behind once popular R&B and Hip Hop music artist who exploded onto the music charts with a huge hits , only to have their careers derailed by a major crisis that caused them to be essentially unappreciated by later generations of soul music listeners. I love the show because I get to find out what to some of my favorite artists. The sad part is what usually happens to them which results in the end of their music career, It is usually one the following themes : drugs, illness(cancer) , screwed by record label and or fight between band members. I am not shaming these artists but I am curious that usually their downfall is a result of their success.
I read this book by Gay Hendricks, titled The Big Leap. In this book he discuss the concept of the upper limit problem. The premise is that we each have a threshold of happiness and success. When we reach that threshold we self sabotage to turn dial the knob.
Have you ever landed the dream job, found a great relationship, or at a place of genuine happiness and that's when fear or worry set in. Have you ever felt "this is too good to be true" I remember a time after my daughter born I would wake in fear worried something bad would happened.
This is how self-sabotage works, your subconscious wants to ensure that we stay within our "safe zone." If we are not accustomed to feeling good for extended periods of time, our minds interprets that as foreign, and potentially dangerous. Hendricks states that "we all have an upper limit problem. He says we have an inner thermostat where we set how much love, happiness, success and money we feel we deserve. If we go beyond this self-imposed limit, we do something to sabotage ourselves to bring us back down to that old and familiar level"
You can also reach an "Upper Limit" when your previously held, limiting beliefs begin to conflict with your goals and aspirations.
What are some signs that you may have hit an upper limit problem? It usually happens as you reach a milestone or goal (or coming close to) and "out the blue" something happens to set you back. You may be successful in all areas in your life except for one where you struggle . You may feel like going through the same cycle over and over. If you think you may have an upper limit problem here are some tips to help overcome it.
Get to know your upper limit problem.
Start looking for patterns in your life where you upper limit problem shows up. It’s been said many times that upper limit problems are solved by remaining aware of them
Push your happiness comfort zone
Begin to celebrate and share your success. and the success of others . When you acknowledge your success it becomes normalized.
Practicing gratitude in the moment where you might feel as if it is too good to last . Reframe that thought. Instead think " Things are so good right now, I am going to enjoy every moment.